Have we ever stopped to think about how often we are asked to change our appearance? Magazines constantly offer us advice on "how to lose weight fast" or "how to fake that thigh gap", sitcoms and reality shows use overweight or underweight persons to be the butt of jokes. Body shaming is becoming a vicious cycle of harsh criticism, unnecessary judgment and unsolicited advice... and we have all joined the circus even if as silent spectators.
Who decides if an athletic frame is better than an hourglass figure or vice versa? Or that being flat-chested makes you less of a woman?
Being a feminist means respecting others' choices, respecting decisions that they have taken for themselves and for their bodies.
Who decided that 36-24-36 is the perfect figure of a woman? Why are we aiming to achieving false, ridiculously brutal standards of body measurements, cursing our genetics instead of celebrating them?
Think of it—there was a time where fleshier people were looked upon as wealthier and of a better status and class. Why? Because they could afford to eat and holiday and live a leisurely lifestyle. Cut to our current scenario—a thinner person is now looked upon as wealthier and of a better class. Why? Ironically enough because it makes us believe that the person can afford a swanky gym, the best dietician and trainer and monthly trips to a spa.
While it may seem clichéd, stopping body-shaming starts with the realization that bodies come in all shapes and sizes, and that a few particular body types are overwhelmingly overrepresented in the media. The average weight of a model is 23% lower than that of an average woman; 20 years ago, the differential was only about 8%. There is now a $64 billion diet industry (in the US alone). Not surprisingly, eating disorders have been increasing every decade, even though exact statistics are not available.
There also seems to be an underlying belief in an "ideal" body weight and shape. The outcome of falling short of this "ideal" is low self-esteem, biased perceptions and poor eating habits, all of which lead to health issues and deep-rooted emotional disturbance.
We've always cared about appearance, particularly women, but technology has made the focus stronger than ever. Never has it been this intense and this relentless. Every social media platform today allows you to gaze at different images of women, evaluate them, comment on them and share them and this isn't even limited to celebrities anymore.
We used to have models and celebrities and other public figures worrying all the time about how they looked because it was their job. Today, the gap between those people and everyone else is technically blurred—because let's face it, we think if it isn't perfect it doesn't deserve to be on social media.
I hate having to think of what it would be like for the next generation. Digital photography, beauty apps, societal pressure together form a potent cocktail that will make it impossible for them to not hate themselves physically, because everything that will be mirrored to them will be so godlike.
Live your life on your terms, in a body you deem healthy and with a mind that doesn't have to beat itself up over a piece of cake!
Stopping body shaming means stopping judgments. Some people call it "concern" when they highlight a flaw or comment about it in the hope of bringing about a change to make a person fitter or healthier—but how has shaming ever been the first step to a cure ?
Before shaming or having a judgmental thought do we stop to think if an underlying medical condition might be causing weight gain? Could the person be battling depression? Are they under major stress that is causing them to have hormonal fluctuations? Could they even perhaps be celebrating the loss of 25kg? We shouldn't pass judgement because we don't know everyone's stories and their battles with their own private demons.
There is so much being said about feminism, but how can we make speeches about the term when we end up pulling our fellow women down instead of empowering and propelling them into positivity? Being a feminist means respecting others' choices, respecting decisions that they have taken for themselves and for their bodies.
Here is how I see it—let's encourage healthy conversations, let's encourage healthy lifestyles and healthy body images.
If women work on the basis that their happiness depends on matching up to these physical expectations, then they are signing themselves up to a lifetime of chasing the impossible.
Let's have reasonable, achievable, healthy goals. Let's have a reality check: the women you see in movies and on TV, the women you see walking the ramp, they all have professional help, an army of people prepping them for that single scene or appearance.
Let's not fall into the trap of the "perfect body" and let's entirely eradicate that term while encouraging each other.
Your only competition is yourself and the only person you have to prove a point to is yourself.
Live your life on your terms, in a body you deem healthy and with a mind that doesn't have to beat itself up over a piece of cake!